today i tell my brother about my needs. bulan ini dan bulan depan bakal banyak biaya tambahan yang aku perluin. i telll my brother with hope that he's gonna say "ya nanti aku bantu tambah" and you know ? it seems just like somthin fantasy, cause it's not gonna happen. he did'nt even care all this long time about me, about how i survived here, how's my life here, do i need some money from him? no he didn't care at all. 

since i was child, i just seen him such a rude person baik secara verbal maupun fisik that's why i hate him so bad. but u know? it's so annoyed that when u try to have a bad wishes for him because u hate him but u cannot do that cause there is still a piece of my heart that didn't want anything bad happened to him cause no matter what have done, he's still my brother.

sometime i wonder about how's it feel to have a brother that love you and care about you. cause i never did it from my brother haha.


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